The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 1

If you have not yet read the first articles in the stay-at-home daughterhood article series, please click here and do so now.

For centuries, the cultural norm here in the West was for a daughter to remain under her father's roof until the time when she was given in marriage. This becomes evident through a study of history and through an observance of the books, laws, and other works produced through the ages in the countries of the West (America and the United Kingdom being especially noteworthy). These works portray the cultures of these countries as they were years ago and reflect the fact that stay-at-home daughterhood was once a popular, common-place, and even expected way of life for unmarried daughters.

For example, in Jane Austen's famous novel Emma (published in England in 1816), the central character, 21 year old Emma Woodhouse, joyfully spends her unmarried years in her father's home. She makes it clear time and again throughout the novel that she could not be happy living anywhere else, but rather delights in serving her father and caring for his needs. Likewise, we see in Pride and Prejudice (another of Miss Austen's books, this one published in 1813) that characters Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have five unmarried daughters (who range in age from 15 to 22 when the novel first begins), all of whom are living at home with their parents. This was typical! It was the norm that unmarried daughters would remain at home, caring for the needs of others, furthering their educations, etc. until the day they married. This is how family life operated at that time. Whether a family was Christian or not, during that time period, the family held to and functioned according to Biblical teachings on the subject of the role of unmarried daughters.

Changes for the Worse

This slowly began to change, however, with the advent of feminism and the "women's rights" movement. Now daughters were being told that they could not possibly be happy or productive at home (I think, however, that Emma Woodhouse proved that wrong, don't you?). Daughters began to be brainwashed into thinking that they were succumbing to a life of victimhood, slavery, and inferiority to men if they continued to live and work in their parents' homes until marriage. Slowly (at first!) but surely, daughters began to buy into these lies and in response, left their homes and families in pursuit of college educations and independent careers. Rather than delighting in the work and sphere of womanhood and diligently furthering their educations while remaining in that sphere, women began to seek the roles and responsibilities of men. Through doing so, they began to lose pieces of their distinct femininity. They began to give up the unique glories of womanhood as created by God in order to trade them in for the life of the double curse and pseudo-manhood. With the coming of the radical, militant feminism of the 1960s came an even greater reduction in the number of young women remaining at home until marriage. From the late 19th century to today, the number of stay-at-home daughters has been dramatically reduced. No longer are unmarried daughters who are joyfully and productively living at home a common sight as they once were. Instead, the rise of feminism brought with it a new occurance.

Today, following high school graduation, unmarried females are expected to leave home to pursue an independent job or college education. They are being surrendered to the world by their families, thus becoming cut off from the care, provision, authority, protection and leadership of their fathers. Young women are, in startling numbers, being shipped off to colleges, and following their college graduation, are then expected to find a home and job of their own, independent from their families and their father's roof, care and counsel. As Mr. Voddie Baucham has so truly and aptly put it, these young women are being surrendered to the wolves to fend for themselves and to take on lives as pseudo-men as soon as they reach that magical age of 18.

Many view this now common occurrence as "progress" that frees those "poor female victims" from the leadership, provision, security and protection they were under as children. Others do not hold to such a radical stance on the subject, but they, as well, support this way of life for daughters, for they view it as a way to "broaden a young woman's horizons and opportunitites".

Sadly, there is just as much confusion in Christian cirlces today regarding the roles and responsibilities of unmarried females as there is in the world. Countless Christians are so caught up (as I once was!) in the culture and its teachings that they have given little to no thought to the question of what a newly-graduated young woman should spend her time doing. They've simply bought hook, line, and sinker into the lies of this world which proclaim that the college and career lifestyle is the only acceptable one for young women. Unfortunately, they also hold to the belief that the lives of their unmarried daughters can and should look exactly the same as that of their sons, with no uniqueness between the professions and pursuits of the two genders. Very few Christians today in an age of relativism and Biblical illiteracy have the slightest idea that there may be a better way for daughters, and even fewer take the time to study God's Word to seek to discover what God Almighty has to say on this subject. After all, many hold to the idea that God does not even address this topic, but rather just leaves us to our own wisdom, plans and desires. Nothing, dear reader, could be further from the truth God has provided for us in His Word everything we need in order to live lives of godliness in Christ Jesus.

What Sayeth the Scriptures?

So if our Lord has not left us to ourselves to attempt to discover what unmarried women should be doing, just what does He, in His holy Word, say on this important issue? If we were to set aside our culture and its teachings, and we instead searched the Scriptures diligently and obeyed what we saw taught there, then which example of daughterhood would be normative for Christians? Would it be expected that daughters would be led, provided for, protected, cared for, and sheltered in their father's home until they were given in marriage? Or would it be normative for daughters to, once they turned 18, be shipped off, void of any protection whatsoever, into a dangerous, destructive, ungodly world to be educated and influenced by it? As Christians, all we have to go by in life is God's holy and inspired Word-it is unchanging and is to be our roadmap for life, being constantly obeyed and lived out daily by us. So, dear readers, I invite you to join me as I search the Scriptures for the answer to these very important and timely questions on the subject of daughterhood.

The Roles of Women and How They Pertain to Stay-at-home Daughterhood

As discovered in the previous article (entitled Beginning at the Beginning: The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood), God fashioned woman into a being unique from man and gave to her unique roles which can be outlined as follows:

• Women are to be helpmeets to their husbands
• Women are to be mothers
• Women are to be homemakers (keepers at home)
• Women are to be under the authority, protection, and provision of men

Through studying the roles our Lord gave to women, we are provided with a glimpse of what unmarried women are to spend their time doing. In fact, the roles given to women are the very foundation upon which stay-at-home daughterhood is built. After all, what should a daughter be doing, but preparing to be a woman and to one day take on the roles and responsibilities of womanhood?

Each of the special roles God designed solely for women is directed towards her home and family-each one! Therefore, is it not clear that, in order to prepare for these roles, unmarried women should remain at home with their families? If a woman's place, according to God's Word, is in the home, then it follows that the place God desires unmarried women to be is in their homes with their families, preparing for the very roles they will be called on to fulfill when they have their own households.

For example, let us address the role of homemaker for a moment. Just as young men should prepare for the vocations, roles, and responsibilities they will have later in life, so should young women! As we would expect a man who wants to be a lawyer to attend law school (or acquire a law degree online!) or to apprentice under a lawyer, so we would expect a woman who is called to be a homemaker to prepare for that high calling. We would by no means expect a young man who desires to be a lawyer to work towards becoming a doctor! We also would have little respect for the man who desires to be a doctor, but is too busy to prepare for that vocation because he is immersed in engineering studies. Likewise, we should not expect a young woman, with a calling from God on her life to be a homemaker, to be preparing for or pursuing a different vocation. So, if God has commanded women to be homemakers (which He certainly did, as we discovered a couple weeks ago), it would make sense for them to prepare for that high calling by remaining in the best training ground and place of apprenticeship available for future homemakers-the home!

Let us now consider the role of helpmeet. This is by no means a responsibility that should be taken lightly. It cannot be fulfilled without much training, as each of us is born as a selfish human being who does not desire to truly serve, help, or strengthen others. Nor are we born knowing how to do so! These characteristics of a Biblical helpmeet must be learned and practiced. Therefore, would it not make much more Biblical sense for a young woman to remain at home with her parents, striving to help and serve them and learning to bend her will to theirs, rather than immersing herself in the college and career lifestyle, both of which provide little to no training for how to be a godly, visionary helpmeet? After all, a young woman's unmarried years are great gifts. For one thing, they prepare her for her future life as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Why, then, do so many advocate a young woman leaving home and preparing for the roles, responsibilites and vocations given to men rather than those given to women? No college or career can prepare us for the offices of helpmeet, mother, homemaker, and submissive, dependent woman. Colleges may offer classes in home economics, but no courses are offered in Godly Motherhood 101, How to be a Helpmeet, or How to Submit to Your Husband. If God desires for women to be helpmeets to their husbands, then it goes without saying that this is something a young woman should plan and prepare for, and the best place to prepare for this role is in the context of the home and family-the sphere where a married woman and helpmeet will spend the majority of her time.

Likewise, as we saw last week and are going to discover in future articles, women are to be under the protection, provision and authority of men. We see that in Numbers 30 and other passages. This, then, would also lead us to say that the place designed for unmarried young women to thrive is the home, under the protection and authority of their fathers.

If God created roles and responsibilities for women which are centered on home and family, then what makes us think that He would support and condone us when we, as young women, leave the place He has so lovingly and wisely designed for us in order to pursue plans and vocations outside the home? The home is the place designed by God for women, so would it not follow then, that this is the place unmarried and married women alike ought to be? Unmarried women are not a different kind of woman. Yes, they are unmarried. But simply because they are unmarried does not mean they are left to assume the roles of men-they are still very much women whether married or not, as marital status does not determine your gender or your roles.

Even if our Lord had not placed passages in His Word which specifically address the very subject of the God-given sphere, duties and roles of unmarried daughters (which we will see in the coming weeks He did do!), it would be clear through His teachings on the roles of women alone that unmarried daughters should remain at home under the care of their fathers. After all, a young girl is in a sense a mini-woman. She is not a man or a pseudo-man. Therefore, she is to prepare for womanhood! If a woman's place is in the home, then a young woman's is, as well.The place God has designed for unmarried women is the home-not the workforce or the dangerous college campus (this is a highly unpopular stance today, but bear with me through the remainder of this series as I appeal to the Scriptures for support of my belief in this area!).

In Conclusion

As we have seen, womankind is given the sphere of the home and family in which to operate-all her unique roles are centered on the home and family. This knowledge alone should lead us to assume that God's place for unmarried young women is also in the home with their families. However, our great God did not leave us simply with this knowledge-although it would be enough to defend stay-at-home daughterhood as a Biblical doctrine. In addition, He also placed in His Word verses pertaining to unmarried women, their roles, duties, sphere, etc. We will be studying those beginning next Friday (Lord willing). Until then, study the Word and immerse yourself in the glories of womanhood in preparation for the next few studies we will be undertaking.

God bless you, and may He use these articles to encourage you, strengthen you, and edify you in your great privileges and duties as women bought by Him (1 Cor. 6:19).