Busy, Busy Day! :)

Today will be really busy for me, as I have to pack, finish some schoolwork, finish sewing a skirt for this weekend, and complete other final preparations for the retreat. Thus, if I am unable to respond today to the most recent comments I've received, you'll understand why! :) In that case, please check back Sunday or Monday for any responses that I am unable to post prior to the retreat.


Thanks for understanding!

The Father Daughter Retreat Will Soon be Upon Us! :)

The 2010 Vision Forum Father Daughter retreat will begin this Friday! Are any of my readers planning on attending? If so, perhaps we could meet! :)

Patterns, Anyone?

Springtime is just around the corner! Do you have (or know someone who does) a favorite 18in. doll who is in need of a new wardrobe for the spring and summer? Then I have the Ebay auction for you! :)

I am now offering a collection of 9 UNCUT, BRAND NEW McCalls patterns for 18in doll clothing. With these patterns, you can make a large assortment of skirts, dresses (from various centuries), tops, shoes, apron and oven mitt, a backpack and purse, a ballerina outfit, a Dorothy doll dress, nightgown, pajamas, pillows, and much, much more to fit American Girl, Our Generation, Gotz, Vision Forum, or any other 18in dolls!


So, head on over to Ebay today and look up item #140391868047! Auction ends tomorow evening!

Life Happens!

As you all know, today is Friday and that means stay-at-home daughterhood article day. For several reasons, however, the release of the next article will be delayed.


For one thing, the next article will be a rather lengthy one. My dear father, who reads over my articles prior to my posting them, has been considerably over-worked lately, leaving him thus very tired and warn out at times. Because of this (and the fact that he had to work today, too), I want to refrain from bogging him down with a long article to read upon his arrival home this afternoon or evening. I'm sure you will understand.


Second, my laptop upon which I write my articles is giving me grief. :) Actually, it's really the disk that I use to transfer my articles from that computer to our family computer (the laptop does not have internet; it's simply used for writing) for posting. The disk is not transferring anything at the moment for one reason or another.


Furthermore, our family computer itself was acting up earlier today (it has been doing so in the mornings fairly regularly lately).


Last, because I will be attending this year's Vision Forum father daughter retreat next week (am I looking foward to that! :) ), I will be very, very busy and will likely have little to no time to respond to a bunch of comments that may or may not be posted on the next article.


While I'm sure you will understand the reason for a lack of a new article being posted today, I do want to provide you with a convenient list of the current articles in the series, in case you have missed the opportunity to read some of them. Here it is:

Introduction to the Stay-at-home Daughterhood Article Series

The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood Part 1

The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood Part 2

The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood Part 3

The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood Part 4

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 1

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 2

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 3

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 4

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 5

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 6

The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood Part 7

A Father's Home-A Daughter's Shelter

Sheltered? Yes, Please!

I would encourage you to read through the comment sections, as well, as some good discussion is contained therein.

Have a blessed day in our Lord, and thank you for your understanding!

Sheltered? Yes, Please!

Among the most popular objections to stay-at-home daughterhood which abound today, is that daughters who remain at home until marriage are too sheltered. Is this a worthy claim? What is meant by this accusation? What does it truly mean to be sheltered? Should a young woman who is remaining in her father’s home until marriage be sheltered? Answering these questions and more will be the object of this next article in the stay-at-home daughterhood series.

The Accusation

Fathers who are dedicated to leading and protecting their unmarried daughters until the day in which they give them in marriage, are often accused of sheltering their poor daughters. The implication is that they are locking their daughters away at home, preventing them from having the ability to know what goes on in the world about them and disallowing them from impacting that world in any way. The idea is that somehow those daughters are slaves, chained away in the dark recesses of the home, who are unable to step out into the great blue yonder which abounds outside the four walls of their “cage”. The accusers harbor the notion that somehow these daughters are uneducated in current events, unable to socialize with people outside the home, prevented from extending a hand of ministry and help to those outside, and are living a life which is empty, useless, and terribly, terribly sheltered. There are no doubt households which function in this manner under the iron fist of a dictator-father and who mask their family dynamics with the title “stay-at-home daughterhood”. However, this lifestyle, which is indeed completely unbiblical, cannot be accurately termed as a condition of the daughters being “sheltered”. In fact, the accusation stems from an inherent misunderstanding of this basic word.

The Blessing of Shelter

In his 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, Mr. Noah Webster describes the word shelter with the following meanings (the first three describing the word when used as a noun, the following ones describing the verb usage):

1. That which covers or defends from injury or annoyance. A house is a shelter from rain and other inclemencies of the weather; the foliage of a tree is a shelter from the rays of the sun.

2. The state of being covered and protected; protection; security

3. He that defends or guards from danger; a protector


4. To cover from violence, injury, annoyance or attack; as a valley sheltered from the north wind by a mountain.


5. To defend; to protect from danger; to secure or render safe; to harbor


6. To betake to cover or a safe place


7. To cover from notice; to disguise for protection


Mr. Webster goes on to describe the word “sheltered” in these words, “Covered from injury or annoyance; defended; protected”. This sounds like a good thing, even a merciful blessing, does it not?



When I think of shelter, what comes to mind is the same scenario as one of those Mr. Webster mentioned. Imagine that you are driving down a strange road, lost in a densely wooded, unfamiliar area, when a thunderstorm suddenly strikes. Torrential downpours, deafening thunder, and scary, electrifying lightening plague you as you strive to continue on your journey. Trying to find a familiar road, you seek ever harder to find your way home. Tired, scared, and terribly hungry, you discover that you will be unable to reach home this night. As fear and uncertainty begin to mount in your heart, a beautiful bed and breakfast suddenly comes into view. You joyfully park your car, and with thanksgiving ringing in the depths of your heart, you bound up the stairs to the inviting front door of the dwelling. Greeted by a warm, cheerful, hospitable face, you are quickly welcomed into the warm abode, ever so comforted by this beautiful shelter. This, dear reader, is the true definition of a shelter. By being sheltered in this home, you are not being blinded to the current events outside the door. You know very well what is taking place outside in the storm-this is the precise reason why you were seeking shelter! You were in a dangerous, destructive world in need of shelter and safety, and when such shelter was offered to you, you eagerly accepted it as a precious gift.

As it pertains to the Biblical practice of stay-at-home daughterhood, being truly sheltered does not mean that you are locked away in your father’s home, uneducated about the ways of the world. Rather, you know all too well the destructive lies and immoral practices of the world, and it is for this reason that you are so thankful for the shelter with which this home affords you. A Biblical stay-at-home daughter is discipled in the ways of Christ by her parents, who strive to teach her the Biblical worldview. Not only this, but they also teach her the lies of the pagan, evil worldviews espoused by many in the world and proceed to equip her with an education which strengthens her with a defense against pervading, unbiblical teachings. Furthermore, she is not “sheltered” in the sense that she is unaware of the vile immorality which takes place in the outside world. Rather, she is protected from those immoral influences and is taught by her parents and by the Holy Spirit, through her reading of the Word, about these various acts of immorality, why they are wrong and dishonoring to the Lord, how they harm those who commit such acts, how to guard against committing them herself, etc. Likewise, a stay-at-home daughter who is operating according to Biblical standards by no means lends a deaf ear and a blind eye to the current events of the day. Far from it! Instead, she understands that as a child of God, it is her duty to be well educated in the events of the day, that she might be able to further the dominion of Christ and fulfill her duty to make disciples. True stay-at-home daughters seek to become highly educated in aspects of history and theology, that they might be able to wage war against the schemes of the Devil, proclaim to others the truth of God and the lies of Satan, sound the alarm of what will happen if the world continues on in its sinfulness and depravity, and much more. In other words, she is nothing like the caricature which those who disdain Biblical daughterhood attempt to paint her as. Instead, she represents her father and his ways well, and joyfully submits to the role God ordained specifically for her, being a truly radiant, intelligent polished corner stone (Ps. 144:112b). When her antagonists attempt to label her as a poor sheltered young woman, she lives out 1 Peter 3:16, which says, “Having a good conscience; that whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.”

In Conclusion

The word “sheltered” is today widely misrepresented, completely misunderstood, and terribly misused. Those who disdain stay-at-home daughterhood claim the word in their attempts to paint this doctrine in the most dire of terms. In doing so, however, they unwittingly refute their own arguments. For, while stay-at-home daughters are not sheltered in the way in which many today claim, they are nonetheless blessedly sheltered (in the true sense of the word!), which is one of the very reasons why they are dedicated to remaining at home. As a bed and breakfast shelters a lost and weary soul from the raging thunderstorm outdoors, so does a father’s home shelter unmarried daughters from the rape, abuse, deception, harassment, murder, unbiblical teachings, sly stalkers and much more which abound in the world. That, dear reader, is the true meaning of being sheltered. And praise the Lord for it!








Footnote



1. Noah Webster, American Dictionary of the English Language (reprinted by Foundation for American Christian Education, 1995)

A Father's Home-A Daughter's Shelter

What follows is the next article in the stay-at-home daughterhood series. If you have not had the opportunity to read the previous articles, please click here and do so now before continuing on with this one. Thank you! :)

~~~~~~~~~

One of the often overlooked blessings of remaining at home-and one of the precise reasons why the Lord has ordained the practice of unmarried daughters remaining under their father’s roof-is the physical and emotional protection which that sphere affords to unmarried daughters. In our day, it is by no means uncommon for daughters to be off on their own-be that at school, work, or one’s own dwelling place-forming relationships with one young man after another, oftentimes without the father’s knowledge or oversight. This is contrary to God’s Word and therefore very dangerous on many levels. When daughters are left alone with young men, emotions tend to flare and one thing leads to another. Meanwhile, there is no one to protect the young woman or to keep her from making hasty, sinful decisions in a moment of passion. It is for this reason that the Lord has commanded fathers to actively preserve and guard their daughters’ purity, in their homes, until they give them in marriage.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21

This passage and others similar to it express the fact that God has issued to fathers the all-important duty of guarding their daughter’s purity-body, mind, and heart. While daughters are responsible for the way in which they act, fathers are to protect them from any endangering situations, people, or places. They are not to send their daughters off on their own, admonishing them to guard their hearts and save their bodies for their future husbands. While they should daily impress the importance of doing these things to their daughters, it is their responsibility, as fathers, to take an active role in diligently guarding them from anyone and anything which would seek to deprive them of the blessed gift of their purity. This includes forbidding them from watching vile television programs, not allowing them to forge friendships with those who are living in a manner which is in direct disobedience to God’s Word, and creating any ground rules necessary for the preservation of their purity. Fathers are not “let off the hook” by God when something occurs which compromises their daughter’s chastity. Far from it! Rather, the Lord holds fathers to a high standard and bestows upon them a high and lofty responsibility-the responsibility of guarding, protecting, and leading their daughters under their roof until the day they give them in marriage. This is the teaching of Deuteronomy 22:13-21 and other like passages. Now that we have laid the groundwork for our study of this portion of Scripture, we can delve into it and study the implications thereof.

Verses 13-21 speak of a situation in which a father gave his daughter to a young man in marriage, claiming that she was indeed a virgin. Sadly, the groom later has reason to believe that this claim was not accurate, and that she had rather lived an impure, unchaste life. The groom goes to her parents in the hopes that they can, in some way, prove to him that his suspicions are groundless and that she has indeed known no other man. If, unfortunately, it becomes known that his accusations were true, and this young woman did indeed give away her purity to another man prior to marriage then the guilty bride was to be stoned.


Now, before we proceed, allow me to make it clear that I am not advocating the stoning of daughters who have given away their virginity prior to marriage! Some may wonder why this is, seeing as how stoning the guilty party was the law. First, this was a law issued to ancient Israel. Second, Jesus, in a sense, abolished this law with his coming. John : - recounts the time when a woman was found to be committing adultery. She was brought before the to be stoned, as the Old Testament Law dictated. Jesus, being in the midst of the crowd about to stone her to death, calls for the attacker who was sinless to cast the first stone. Obviously, not one of them could claim to have no sin, and so one by one, they went home. Finally, only Jesus and the adulteress remained. She marvels that those who were to stone her had departed. He proclaims that He no longer , but that she is to go and sin no more. Therefore, while the passage in Deuteronomy we will be studying today is helpful and provides us with much wisdom and insight into a father’s role, the stoning aspect of this verse is not to be followed through by us today.


Having said this, let us continue on with this passage. First, notice in verse 15 that it is the young woman’s parents who were responsible for providing tokens of her purity. This is because they are to be watching over her, training her in ways of righteousness, involved in her life and knowing the state of her purity and guarding it with all their might.


Second, note in verse 21 where it was she was to be stoned. Was it at the place where she committed her sin of fornication? No-she was to be stoned at “the door of her father’s house”. Why is this? The reason is that it was the father’s duty to guard his daughter and her purity and to be actively involved in her life, that she might not find herself in a compromising situation. While the daughter is guilty for committing the sin (as is shown through her death), the father is disgraced for not fully preserving his daughter’s purity (as is shown in the stoning occurring at his home-the sphere which is to be a place of protection for daughters). Now, clearly, daughters will at times reject and rebel against their father’s authority and protection, leaving the father with little he can do to prevent her from committing an act of impurity. But this verse shows unequivocally that the father is held responsible to guard his daughter from any debilitating influences and entanglements with young men, so as to guard her purity. He has the responsibility of presenting his daughter to a husband as a pure, radiant virgin. This is his task, and this is why his home is to be her place of shelter until he gives her in marriage. Fathers rejecting their duty and instead releasing their daughters to the world to be on their own spells disaster. For, one of the greatest benefits of remaining at home until marriage is the protection it provides against defiling temptation, male predators, and sinful actions which daughters would one day greatly regret. When a daughter is alone with friends or perhaps with just one young man, without the protection of her father, it can be so easy for her to give in to flirting, fleshly desires, and actions which she would otherwise never dream of doing. How appealing the world and its ways can look when off on your own! This is precisely what Mr. Henry was saying when he wrote, “See what came of Dinah’s gadding: young women must learn to be chaste, keepers at home; these properties are put together, Tit. 2:5, for those that are not keepers at home expose their chastity. Dinah went abroad to look about her; but, if she had looked about her as she ought, she would not have fallen into this snare.”1 He wrote furthermore, ““Dinah, when she went to see the daughters of the land, lost her chastity. Those whose home is their prison, it is to be feared, feel that their chastity is their fetters.”2

Exodus 22:16-17

To further emphasize a father’s role to protect his daughter, we will now turn to Exodus 22. In verses 16 and 17, we read of a situation in which a young man tempts a young woman and lies with her. Notice whom he has to answer to for his sin: her father. Now, clearly, he ultimately has God to answer to; earthly speaking, however, he must answer to her father, for he is the one in charge of her and given the duty to preserve her purity. The young man must attempt to make things right with him and do what he says, whether that be to marry her or simply pay a dowry price for her. Again, we see illustrated the fact that fathers are the ones vested with the task of protecting their daughters-body, mind, and heart.

In Conclusion

You see, daughters are not called on to remain at home until marriage because God has some evil desire to lock them up and not allow them to see the light of day. Nor are they to be there so that they might be deprived of the opportunity to use their gifts or advance the cause of Christ. Rather, God has placed them in the sphere of home that they might be protected and guarded against the wicked, wretched influences and people which desire to destroy them. If you are a daughter with a father who actively seeks to guard your purity, praise God for that tremendous blessing! Do not ever take that for granted. Sadly, many girls today do not have a father like that. If you are a daughter whose father is not interested in the least in protecting you and your purity, take heart! Pray that the Lord would change your father; you never know what the Lord may do in his heart! He works miracles even in our day; with God, all things are possible!



Footnotes

1. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 2991) pg. 73


2. Ibid, pg. 2370