*If you have not yet read the previous portions of the stay-at-home daughterhood article series, please do so now, by clicking here, before you continue on. Thank you! :)
The following is the final portion of this article! Next Friday we will, Lord willing, move into addressing and studying the Biblical case for stay-at-home daughterhood.
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The subject I will be addressing today is so very, very important. I know I've proclaimed that same sentence in the three parts prior to this one, but it is so true! Each and every one of these four roles of Biblical womanhood are direly important and lead to the health and vitality of families, as well as the furthering of Christian dominion. In a way, however, I believe the case could be made that the specific role we'll be studying today is the foundation upon which the other three are built and given strength. If this foundation is not upheld, embraced, and delighted in Biblically, all else will crumble. The hope of pursuing the other three responsibilities will be darkened and depleted if this one-which was also instituted in the Genesis, the book of beginnings!-is not obeyed and lived out in a God-honoring fashion. Because of its depth of importance as well as the lies, hatred, and misrepresentations hurled against it today, this is a topic which could easily take up the space of a completely separate article series (which may show up here on this blog sometime in the future!). Due to this fact, I will not even attempt to delve into the depths and widths of this beautiful role at this particular time. I will be addressing it further in the next article we'll be undertaking by God's grace, which will be "The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood". However, I do want to attempt to present to you at least a portion of the riches of this design of womanhood, as created by our Lord. May it serve to ignite in you a love for God's vision of womanhood, and may the Lord use it to develop in you a thirst to delve into a Scriptural study of this topic for yourself.
A Woman is to be...
...under the provision, protection and leadership of a man.
As I stated above, this is-quite sadly- a very hated concept in our current culture. When someone brings up the topic of a man's responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect his wife and daughters, our culture-and sadly, the Church!- has been instructed and fashioned to respond with hatred, misunderstanding and vast misrepresentation.
On the one hand, you have those who say that there is no such thing as "male headship". By proclaiming this, they basically say that there is no need for men. This may seem like a radical proclamation, but that is nonetheless the thought which under-girds the "no headship" worldview. They are proclaiming-whether they mean to or not-that there is no need for men. After all, men and women are exactly alike, so why have both?
On the other hand, there are those who utter the dark and unBiblical words that women are to be doormats, nothing but slaves, held under lock and key in the dark basement of the home, and not to be given honor and respect. They-perhaps unwittingly-are embracing the enslaving dangers and heresies of Islam and are abusing women in a terrible manner.
However (glory be to our great God!), the Scriptures provide us with a picture of what the true relationship between the sexes ought to be. Our Lord and Maker reveals to us His loving heart and perfect ways as they pertain to Biblical manhood and Biblical womanhood. We see in Genesis and elsewhere in Scripture that God had ordained male headship and female submission-and did so prior to the Fall! The Fall did not bring about male leadership and female following. The only change in these roles that the Fall brought about was that now, due to our sinful natures, women desire to rule over men and men at times rule in a domineering, unloving fashion.
Indeed, it was not the Fall which brought about male headship and female "dependence". It was our all-wise, all-loving God Who ordained these wonderful, complementary roles. And I'm so glad and thankful that He did!
The Dangers of "Equality"
Feminism would have us believe that prior to the advent of the Women's Rights Movement, women were enslaved victims of domineering, disrespectful, power-hungry men. However, this simply is not the case. Were there men prior to this movement who dishonored and mistreated women? Of course-there have been since the Fall! However, it was much less common. The Declaration of Feminism even remarked in November 1971, that "all of history must be re-written in terms of oppression of women"! Rather than alleviating abuse towards women, feminism has instead brought about mistreatment of women on a massive, tragic scale! I was made aware of this terribly sad truth yet again through the reading of an article that was featured in our local newspaper just three days ago.
The article spoke of the horrible rape of a 15 year old girl in the San Fransisco area. Following a high school event one night not long ago (I believe it was reported to be a school dance), the young woman exited the school building and was attacked by a group of young men ranging in age from mid-teens to early twenties. They preceded to abuse and rape her-for two hours. As horrific as this alone is, the article went on to say that this was not the most gruesome portion of the story. What makes this event a hundred times worse is the fact that a large group of people gathered around the site. Not to help her, though! Rather, they simply stood there and watched as this poor girl was terribly abused. For two hours! Undoubtedly there were strong young men in this group of on-lookers. They no doubt could have banded together- they even numbered more than the attackers!-to defend and protect this young woman. Did they do that, though? Did they step in as men in the Titanic era would have, to defend, honor and protect her? Of course not-because men are not trained to do that today! Why? Because feminism has so maligned males into thinking they're good for nothing that now they believe it. Now they don't see any reason to defend helpless women. After all, feminism has, in the same manner, proclaimed to females that they ought to be "just one of the guys". Feminism has taught countless women and young girls that they should act like men, dress like men, think like men, do the work of men, heap upon themselves all the responsibilities of men, be "tough" like men, etc., for that's "true equality"! Do you see, however, where this sort of unBiblical indoctrination has gotten us? We were once a nation which bravely and dutifully proclaimed the teaching of "Women and Children First!", a nation which took great pride in defending, providing for, cherishing, and honoring women. We are now a nation that views women as men.....and treats them as such, slapping them on the shoulder, slamming doors in their faces, leaving them to fend for themselves, and the list goes on. Women have for decades now cried that they want "equality" (meaning that they want to be like men!). However, now that they've acquired it, they're not happy! Who could be when stories like that of the girl mentioned above take place day after day, thanks to "equality between the sexes"?
In great contrast to worldly pictures of equality, there is indeed an aspect of equality between man and woman which the Lord lovingly developed- that of equality in His sight. We are equal in worth, in dignity, and in the fact of our both being made in the image of Almighty God, the Maker of heaven and earth. What better equality could there be? The Lord created men with special roles and responsibilities fashioned solely for them, and because of this, they enjoy a special uniqueness among the Creation. Women are blessed in this same capacity, for they were issued roles and responsibilities which only they can enjoy and delight in. The uniqueness of man and the uniqueness of woman are kept safe in God's economy. However, man and woman lose their uniqueness and purpose when they are morphed together into one entity as they so often are today. Let us forsake the unfulfilling, fake, deceiving "equality" of today, so that we might enjoy and benefit from the glorious equality which God offers to us!
Man as Provider, Protector, and Leader
As alluded to in the previous installments to this article, man is ordained by God to protect, provide and lead his wife and unmarried daughters. We see in Genesis that while man is to provide for his family, his wife is to be a homemaker (and we daughters, homemakers-in-training!). Numerous passages of the Bible (some of which we will cover in next week's article) proclaim the duty of men to protect and defend their families-a role which represents the love of Christ for His Bride, the Church (Eph. 5:25, 28-33). Women are created as the "weaker vessels" (1 Peter 3:7) and are to be guarded and kept safe by men. And lastly, man is commanded by God to lovingly and wisely lead and exert authority over family, church, and state (Eph. 5:22-24; Numbers 30; 1 Cor. 14:34; 1 Tim. 2:11-14; Tit. 2:5; Is. 3:12; Ex. 18:21; Deut. 1:13). We will delve into this truth further, particularly as it relates to a man's protection and provision of and authority, over his unmarried daughters. We will be looking at and studying many of these passages beginning next week, with an article entitled "The Biblical Case for Stay-at-home Daughterhood".
In Conclusion
I pray that this article, "Beginning at the Beginning: The Lord's Beautiful Plan, Design, and Purpose for Womanhood", has served to endear you to the joyous, productive, fulfilling, highly important roles God has given to women. When we, as daughters of the Almighty, embrace and delight in obeying our gracious Lord and accomplishing what He has instructed us to do, we not only begin to greatly enjoy the fruits of such a life, but we also become an example to young women everywhere and a light in the midst of a dark and dying world. May we delight in and study the truths of God's unchanging Word, immersing ourselves in what He has to teach us. And may we live our lives in such a way that would cause those who see us to glorify our Father which is in Heaven!
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*Return next Friday for the next article in the stay-at-home daughterhood article series! Until then, please delve into God's holy Word and the truths which we have discovered through the course of this current article, in preparation for next week's study. God bless you!
Hi Rebekah,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the issue of sexual abuse and rape is a very serious one: the best information suggests that 1 in 3 women is sexually abused before the age of 16 (and many boys are of course abused as well).
But I do not think that you are right that placing women under the protection of men will help. Of the abused girls mentioned before, 38% were abused by family members, and another 46% by acquaintances (Anderson et al. 1993). For very many girls and women, home is the least safe place there is!
Your advocacy of stay at home daughters concerns me, because while this is a lovely idea for those with kind, responsible families, many families are abusive, some in the most terrible ways imaginable. Encouraging women in these situations to stay at home makes them even more vulnerable, and means they have no way to meet others (at school, work, etc.) who might be able to assist them.
The problem with giving a man headship is that many men are not worthy or capable of such a responsibility. They will instead abuse their power. While a wife can choose her husband, a daughter cannot choose her parents. I think you need to rethink your advocacy of female submission, adding caveats so that women with an unworthy man in their life will be able to protect themselves.
AB
Hi Rebekah,
ReplyDeleteI would take issue with only one item in your very well-written article: your explanation of why no man stepped in to help the poor girl in San Francisco. What happened was abominable. The crowd of 12 watched as another 10 men abused the girl. All twelve, I would argue, have no interest in being "strong" men or virtuous men. I seriously doubt, however, that this is so because of feminism. Rather, I would see this as what you note is a consequence of the Fall: some men (not all!) -- but some -- see women as property to which they are entitled. From such a view comes the expressions "he had his way with her," "he took his pleasure from her," etc. that are so commonly found in 18th-19th century literature.
These men were certainly brought up in a society that denigrates male headship. But what sickens me the most is that they saw this young girl as someone less than human; someone who they could use, and throw away, without consequence. Someone who didn't fundamentally matter. Not a person created in God's image, but someone created for denigration.
What happened was horrible. But, thank the Lord, such incidents are not a common occurance in the U.S. Certainly, sexual abuse is a tremendous problem. But these men look more like sociopaths (in the psychological sense of the word) than anything else.
It is my fervent prayer that this young woman has a father or protector who will take care of her in the days, weeks, and months to come. Rape trials are notoriously difficut for victims to endure. She will have to testify in open court. The opposition's lawyers will try to tear her down. (This is assuming the men don't take pleas ~ and that the case goes to trial.) She will need strong guidance from someone who shows her unconditional love and treats her with the respect she deserves as someone created by God.
That being said ~ I would posit that many young men have a vision of "headship" that is fundamentally misguided. My mother is a teacher at a public school (that I attended for high school.) One of the students was failing an English class, and the principal called his mother in for a student-teacher-parent conference. The mother was clearly terrified by her son; he had threatened to stab her with a knife that he carried around with him. At the meeting, when she said she tried to get him to do his homework, he slapped her. Can you imagine the shame the mother felt? This is the type of person with whom I went to public school. Boys - young men - wanted all of the rights without any of the responsibilities. That, to them, is what they consider their "due" as men.
Of course, this is completely twisted, which is why it's so important for women and men alike to provide models of biblical families ~ and to actively reach out to help those who have suffered from the abuses, slings, and arrows of the world's ideas of male and female roles.
AB,
ReplyDeleteHello! Thank you for your input. Hearing from my readers is always such a joy!
You made some great points, and I can certainly understand your concerns. Many young women are indeed in terribly abusive homes, and my heart goes out to these poor ladies. It makes me all the more thankful that I have not been placed in a situation like that. First let me say, though, that if a young woman is in a physically abusive situation, one that is truly threatening to her life, for example, I am not advocating that she remain there. I will address this further in a future section of this series dealing with problems such as :
What if a daughter has a father who no longer wants to provide for, protect, and lead his daughter?
What if a daughter is in an abusive situation?
I encourage you to read those once they're posted (I don't exactly know when that will be though! :) ). Briefly, however, I will say that a young woman in that instance needs to seek the help and shelter of a family from church, a loving extended family member, etc. God has not forsaken her and left her alone in that abusive atmosphere. He will take care of her one way or another. So, by all means, if a daughter is in a situation like that which you mentioned, she should seek a different caretaker or guardian. At the same time, however, it will require wisdom to determine whether or not her situation is one which really requires an escape or not. No situation is perfect, as no people are perfect, and so a young woman will need to determine whether the home she is currently living in is truly detrimental to her health, or whether she can safely remain in that home and seek to reach her family members for Christ.
You're absolutely right that many homes today are not safe. That is a tragic, yet true, statement. We have to look at this fact and seek to determine the root cause of this tragedy. I believe that history shows that the breakdown of the family which occurs when the mothers leave the home and when fathers no longer hold fast to their God-given responsibilities, is to blame for the abusive homes you mentioned in your comment. Because if a strong Christian family suddenly breaks down, and the children are attending school where Christian values and beliefs are not taught, and this continues down through the generations, then inevitably you end up with the dreaded scenario you mentioned. This, I believe, is the root cause of the trouble we have today. Christian men and women no longer have a Biblical worldview, and thus are not passing down one to their children. The root of the abuse is not that fathers have leadership-they were given leadersthip responsibilities prior to the fall. Thanks to the fall, however, men down through the ages have at times been tempted to lead in a hateful, domineering, overpowering way, thus resulting in abuse.
I believe that feminism is responsible for the abuse in families today. This may seem radical seeing as how we live at a time when the feminists claim to be "setting women free". However, I have discovered from studying history that feminism is largely to blame for the problems we face today. There was once a time (such as that of the Titanic era and further back) when men honored, respected, and appreciated women. They saw them as the weaker vessel (1 Pet. 3:7), and sought to therefore care for, protect, and lead them. First Peter 3:7 is not a slight against women, but rather shows how God made them-they are to be cared for and sheltered by their husband or father, for they are the weaker of the two sexes. The respect and honor which men felt for women could be seen in the way they opened doors for them, pulled out their chair for them, stood when they entered the room, etc. Then came feminism which influenced women into declaring their "equality" and striving to be just like men. In so doing, they began to lose their distinct femininity, for they took on the rough and tumbleness so characteristic in males. Men were being vocally beaten down by women who would yell at them for even daring to open a door for them, etc. Gradually, men began to view women as pseudo-men, in that they should now be treated with gruffness rather than gentleness, and woman lost one of her most precious gifts-the respect and honor of men. And now you have many men who wouldn't dare to lay down their lives for women ("She says she can take care of herself; let her!!"). We females have lost the beauty of respect, honor and dignity once shown to us by men. There are no doubt men still out there who greatly respect women and who will still open doors for them, would be willing to die so that they might live, etc. I know some of them myself! But, sadly, they are so few and far between these days. Thanks to feminism and the outcries of women against the "stifling" protection of men, our world is now filled with men who see women as just weaker men or pseudo-men. While the fall resulted in men at times leading in selfish ways, down through the ages men were still taught to treat women with love and gentleness. This isn't to say that many men didn't still mistreat women even then. However, it was much more rare than it is today.
ReplyDeleteAs a sort of side note, I would like to point out that unless abused daughters are being held captive in their homes (which is by no means biblical stay-at-home daughterhood!), they do have means to meet others outside the home. It is certainly true that some fathers don't even allow their daughters to meet others outside the four walls of the house or to venture outside. However, this is not stay-at-home daughterhood lived out in a Biblical manner! While stay-at-home daughters are remaining at home until marriage, they (like the Prov. 31 woman) are to have a great impact on the community God has placed them in, striving to reach out to and serve others.With regards to giving man headship, I would only point out that this is what God Himself did in His Word. He created and ordained men to lead. However, they are to do so lovingly, with sensitivity and understanding (Eph. 5:25, etc. and 1 Pet. 3:7). God by no means takes pleasure in men who don't lead their families or in those who lead with an iron fist, for neither is a true and honest representation of God's leadership. As I stated above, God has provided a "way out" so to speak, for those women who are in abusive situations. He sets the solitary into families, has a heart for the destitute, widowed and fatherless, and is in the business of caring for and providing for His children who are in dire straights. So, I'm glad you brought up this topic, as it is important to make clear that the Almighty has a heart for the abused and needy and provides shelter for them in a myriad of ways.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments! :) While I do not have all the answers, I do hope that what I presented clearly shows you where I'm coming from. Again, thank you for bringing up this topic!
Rebekah
P.S. Sorry I had to divide up my response like this! :/
How wonderful to hear from you again, Luci! :)
ReplyDeleteMost definitely the problems with these young men are a direct result of the fall. That's so true, and I don't diagree with that at all. I, do, however, see a tie between feminism and what occured, as I mentioned in my response to AB. But what you said with regard to the fall is most definitely true.
I would go even further to state that the views these men held of this young women could also be linked directly back to the false teachings of evolution. After all, if we've just descended from apes and were not made in the image of God, then we're nothing but animals, so it doesn't matter how we treat each other-we have no true worth or dignity, for we weren't even made in God's image! The lies of evolution can be blamed for so much, including racism. If we don't hold fast to the truths of God's Word as they pertain to Creation, then we'll fall prey to no end of evil and wrong thinking.
You're so right that we must reach out to others and provide for them an example of Biblical manhood and Biblical womanhood. The story of that boy at school is tragic, but sadly all too common these days. My heart goes out to his poor mother. What a feeling of being trapped she must have felt. It is indeed high time we Christians step up to the plate and present male headship as the Scriptures present it. As I wrote in my article, there are too many who (as the egalitarians) say there is no such thing as male headship in the Bible. There are likewise too many who view women as things to domineer over and abuse. We Bible-believing Christians have the privilege of presenting the beautiful joys of true, Biblical headship. What an opportunity! :)
I agree with you-that poor girl is in desperate need of prayer. I pray that a godly woman would go to her and have the opportunity of ministering to her, and that a godly man would seek to protect her and provide her with an example of true manhood. She certainly should be in our prayers. If you hear anything else about the outcome of this case, would you share it with me? I would greatly appreciate it! :)
Have a blessed day, Luci! As I said, it was great to hear from you.
Rebekah
I believe that feminism is responsible for the abuse in families today.
ReplyDeleteWhat evil, then, was responsible for the abuse in homes prior to the advent of feminism? And what made this evil cease to be any sort of contributing factor in cases of domestic abuse when feminism came onto the scene?
There are court documents dating well back into the 18th century that show cases of incest, rape and other abuses perpetrated against daughters by their fathers, and those are only the cases that made it into the courts; the Lord only knows how many never came to light this side of Heaven. In fact, the only American (although at the time he would not have referred to himself as such) ever executed for incest was Thomas Rood, who was hanged for his crime in 1672; you would certainly have been hard pressed to find a contemporary of Mr Rood who knew what you meant when you blamed feminism for his actions against his daughter Sarah.
To blame feminism for things that transpired long before the word "feminist" was even present in the vernacular is at best a stretch of the established body of research; I would go so far as to call it sloppy scholarship, since the argument does not bear up under anything even resembling a researched scrutiny. I understand you are writing with a purpose in mind, and can certainly support that; however, to blindly ignore readily available, reliable primary and secondary documents in order to make a point appear supported is a poor way to argue one's case. I would urge greater consideration prior to making such insupportable statements in future articles.
Hi, Andrea! Thank you for your comment. You asked some great questions. I suppose I wasn't clear in my responses to AB and Luci, as I addressed the issue you brought up in those comments. If I caused any confusion, I'm sorry! Thank you for asking, as this way I can clear up any misunderstanding that may exist.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that such terrible events took place well before the advent of feminism-I made that point in my comments above. Accounts of incest, rape, etc. are included in God's Word even-these sins and more have occured time and again since the Fall. Ultimately, the Fall is responsible for all the sin in the world. There's no doubt that that is the case, and I never knowingly said otherwise.
My point was that while these sins most definitely did occur, they were far less common years ago, during a time when men (for the most part) highly respected and honored women, and viewed and treated them as different than men. Today, however, as I said above, feminism has so conditioned men into thinking that women can fend for themselves, so they had better not try to be chilvalrous. This can be observed everywhere one looks today. For instance, a young man from my homeschool group once hit me pretty hard in the shoulder (as he would have one of his guy buddies). He didn't treat me with gentleness and respect or treat me as a weaker vessel to protect and care for. Rather, he treated me as "one of the guys". This is so common today, and as a result of men not being taught how to rightly treat women, all sorts of abuse, domineering harshness, etc. abounds in the way men treat women today. That was the point I was trying to make.
You are 100% correct, though, when you speak of sins committed against daughters down through the ages-this has occured since the fall. It is simply not nearly as rampant as it is today-a truth which we largely have feminism to thank for.
I hope that clears up any confusion! If you have any other questions or comments, I'd be happy to hear them-I want this blog to be a haven and a peaceful place where those who agree with me as well as those who do not can feel comfortable enough to leave a comment!
Blessings,
Rebekah
P.S. I would also like to point out that through my blaming feminism for much of the abuse of women that goes on today, I am by no means trying to assert that feminism takes over sole responsibility and that the Fall is not still ultimately responsible.
ReplyDeleteSomething interesting to point out is that the wording used in Gen. 3 when it speaks of a woman's desire will be for her husband, but her husband will rule over her, the Hebrew words used in the phrase addressing the husband are words that refer to harsh, domineering leadership. The Fall affected the male headship that God created at the time of Creation in that now, instead of ruling at all times in a loving, wise, humble, caring sort of way, men would now be tempted (and at times would succomb to the temptation!) to domineeringly lead women with harshness and abuse. So, both the Fall and feminism as an established philosophy and worldview, are both to blame. After all, it was the Fall that ultimately brought about feministic thinking and actions.